Dating a man with depression

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It can make you feel completely alone, and it can really change who you are.When it came to my ex-boyfriend, I made a decision that some people don’t understand or that some people believe is wrong – I decided to put myself first; to end things and focus on me, and to not have him in my life anymore (his depression wasn’t the only factor here, by the way). A lot of people feel that their partner, depressed or not, is the person for them, and they want to make it work. Depression can be crippling, but depressed people need loved ones by their side.

I wish I could individually respond to each of you, but until that time, here are 10 things you have to know about dating someone who is depressed. It's easy to take someone else's depression personally, especially if you're very close to that person. Depression isn't caused by one single thing or depression.I’ve never seen this issue addressed in a way that’s been helpful to me. I had trouble with anxiety in my early 20’s and depression in my late 20’s, so I know what it’s like to attempt to function with that black cloud hanging over your head at all times.The only response I’ve ever gotten was the clichéd “You need to be healthy to start a relationship. My issue was largely situational – subconscious freak-outs about graduating college in 1994 and the shattered dreams of failing to become a Hollywood screenwriter in 2001.Suppose you had treatment-resistant depression (or any chronic mental illness), assuming that you had been going the medication-and-therapy route for years to no avail, and that you were doing all you could to help yourself in your condition, but that you were just not able to function on the same level as a healthy person (i.e., too unstable to keep a job, on social assistance, disability status, etc.).Assume also that you had had this condition your entire adult life and did not expect to get better any time soon–unless there was a significant breakthrough in the field of antidepressants or therapy techniques. How would you find a partner who would accept that you were not healthy and could not have a job or “contribute” to society, but could still love you for you?

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